Decade

Jon and I have been married a whole decade.  Plus a couple extra months. 

 

I'd describe our marriage relationship as the best friendy-type, where the sweet spot is spending lots and lots of time together and talking at length about minutiae.

 

2014 was a good year because it was fun to celebrate a milestone, but it has been our hardest year of marriage by a long shot.  It would be really easy to blame miscommunications and a general sense of lasting disconnectedness on life and it's busyness.  Mostly it was our fault though, for lying in bed before sleep and checking one million things on our phones instead of talking about the day.  We've been blessed by a strong, joyful marriage, so I guess we never really learned to prioritize our relationship above the general background noise of HGTV, ESPN, fantasy football, Downton, and the like that fill our free time.  With a busy life, active kids, and free-time that seems to shrink every year, I'd guess that's a lesson we can thank the Lord for.  And pray for more growth and grace in execution.  

 

You may not have know this (but you probably suspected it), but the word I'd use to describe Jon's career is flourishing.  I'm way proud of him for his hard work, both with the Texas Forest Service and our city.  However, (this is terrible to admit, especially as someone who is in a talk-about-everything marriage) often when he comes home and talks about his day, I have no idea what he is talking about.  Zero.  I'd say weekly he comes home and tells me about someone with TFS, Parks and Rec, some outside non-profit agency, or school has approached him to be on their board/panel/review team.  The acronyms, people!  The acronyms!  I'm glad I've sat down to write this post, because it has sparked an idea.  Maybe if when he comes home and I set down the crying kid I'm holding and ignore the cage fighting for five minutes, I could write down all these agencies.  Basically, I feel terrible when I have no idea what he is talking about and want to feel more connected to him and what he does for 8+ hours a day.  Does that make sense?  Also, LEP and SARA have wrapped up and he will have waaaay less travel next year, and that can't hurt for the home team.  (See what I mean about those acronyms??)  Anyone else have any ideas on this front? 

 

I guess what we've been reminded of is that any relationship takes work, switching from auto pilot to being an active participant is better in the long run, and that DC Talk and Mumford and Sons have already summed it up well.  Love is a verb and love the one you hold, let that be the goal.  Oh yeah, I also recently heard in a sermon to consider yourself as the most selfish and biggest problem in any relationship or something along those lines.  Easier said than done, but food for thought. 

Anyway, life is back to normal but I still wanted to blog about marriage in the ninth year.   

 

Note to readers: Do not waste a precious date night by sorting a huge tub of legos from Goodwill that you plan on giving to your eldest Christmas morning.  You will quickly see the error of your ways and regret a wasted night.  Your six-year old would have had more fun sorting the legos on Christmas, anyway. 

 

An anniversary present of a yard-cart-wagon filled with ten or 31 years of awesomeness, depending on how you look at it. 

 

A quick note on that wagon.  I had a friend order it for me on Amazon.  I am a fool and expected it to come in a huge crate that I would open and it would roll on out.  It did come in a big box, with 50 different pieces and an Allen wrench.  My friend Jennifer and I spent hours one night learning how to use her socket set and slowly and painstakingly began putting it together.  We never did use the enclosed Allen wrench.  I lied to Jon about what we were doing in order to put that wagon together before our anniversary.  It felt very ironic. 

 

Then I had to haul the dang thing home and hide it.  This about killed me because Jennifer's socket set sizes didn't go very big, so we were unable to put the wheels on.  I knew Jon had more sizes at home, so I figured it would have to be finished at home. 

 

I hid it in our guest room right after Joe and Pearl left under a huge pile of sheets, blankets, and pillows stripped from the bed.  Jon never found it, but would come out of the guest room and say, "Did you smell something weird in the guest room?  There is definitely a weird smell in there."  It was the new tire rubber smell.  It made me nervous every time.  I really can't believe he never found it, and have since teased him about his pitching-in-to-help skills when you see a huge mountain of dirty laundry and blankets and it doesn't cross you mind to wash the sheets, make the bed, and clean up a little.

 

And he got me a shiny new tenth anniversary ring.  So pretty!  And so easy to hide!!