The Life of ANY Party...

 

A smorsboard of feelings; Please feel free to fill your plate.

I began writing on this blog for a variety of reasons.  I knew many people loved my boys from afar and didn't get to see them often/ever.  I knew I would never, ever compile another scrapbook as long as I lived.  I knew there would be so many enjoyable moments that I would forget if not duly noted.  Along the way I have also realized that writing has helped me refine my thoughts and emotions, which was a welcome discovery. 

So there you go, blogging is cheaper than therapy.  And with that we jump back into the dicey ground of infertility.  If that's not your cup of tea (and really, other than a RE, whose is it?), feel free to peruse elsewhere this evening. 

I also want to talk about where we are with foster care.  I'm having a hard time getting my head (or maybe heart?) into the game with foster care.  We are about done with our training and paperwork with only the big stuff left: home study, fire inspection, and health inspection.  I keep thinking that the closer we get to our license I will have a better handle on my feelings, but I think the opposite is proving true so far.  It's safe to say they are a mixed bag. 

I'm not really proud of my feelings, but I'm going to share them honestly anyway.  I have the definite feeling of this being second best, which I absolutely hate, but can't seem to shake.  This is a brand new feeling for me, as I never had similar feelings with our first adoptions, which we wanted as our very first choice.  I also think that we would have pursued caring for kids in the foster system at one point or another during our lives, so it's hard for me to understand why it has been so difficult to move foster care up in the lineup.  We strongly believe in orphan care and the various forms that can take.  We would be delighted to have more kids.  Foster care/foster-to-adopt seems to be such an obvious choice for our family, but I just keep expecting to experience the joy, excitement, wonder and impatience as we did with our boys.  Those feelings have not yet been forth coming. 

So does this all boil down to how a person handles grief?  Do you continue along the path knowing you will heal and rejoice at the new lives that God brings into your home, or do you hunker down and ride out the emotional storm (Jon calls mine a tsunami) before continuing in the next step?  

Welcome Summer!

Because nothing says "Summer's Here!" like a batch of sugar cookies...

 

 

 

Happenings

In no particular order, things that make me smile. 

1.  Superman has learned a song/game from some older kids that goes:  "Zombie, Zombie, come alive.  Come alive when I count to five".  Superman's version:  "Hobby Lobby come alive..."

2.  Our boys' passports came!  We are so excited that we are going to get to see some old friends in Costa Rica!  Before we had kids and hadn't been married for too long there were a few families that had a tremendous shaping influence in our lives.  The Caires made the list of how we wanted to live and  communicate Jesus now and in the future.  They are currently in language school getting ready to serve in Peru at the Diospi Suyana Hospital beginning this fall.  Also, I should mention that this is where I have found the best ever pancake recipe. 

3.  Aunt Joy and Uncle BJ are coming to visit on Thursday!  Eeeeeee!

4.  And the fun doesn't stop there!  Our good buddy Robyn is also visiting this week from Papua New Guinea.  She is borrowing one of our cars, which concerns Bear to no end.  "Whaiw da bue caw is?" on repeat. 

5. And the fun doesn't even stop there!  Uncle Eli is coming to celebrate the fourth!

6.  My kids are growing up.  This produces a smile that is strained at times.  Have I told you how it hurts my heart that none of my kids require lids on sippy cups any longer?  Well, it does.  We haven't really gotten his room set up yet, but Superman has graduated to a big kid room and a big kid bed.  He helped me pick out a new comforter online today and was equal parts hilarious and exasperating.  That was after I had already narrowed it down to four choices.  He chose all of them at different times in the discussion.  Classic.

 

7. This one has nothing to do with things making my day, but a house-keeping item.  I've been going back and forth about making our blog private.  Do you have any pros and cons about either?  If you blog, what were your reasons for private vs. public?  If I do decide to make it private, I will of course let you know before I take action.

Our Week in Quotes

On theology:
Superman:  My Thomas water bottle is just like God.  He can see everywhere.
Superman:  This dragon is so tall.  He is juuuuust up to God's chin.
Superman in prayer:  And God, why are you so big?  How did you just get to be so big?

On embarrassing mothers:
Bear to random man at Sam's:  Hello, Mista Monsta!  (Complete with big smile and wave.)

On learning new words (garage sale and automatic) and having no idea what they mean:
Bear chasing me:  I gawage say-oh you!  No!  Youwa gawage say-oh!
Bear:  I'm done now.  It's auto-may-ic. 
Bear fixing the waistband of his shorts:  I pix it.  It's auto-may-ic.
Bear: I pil my mek.  It's auto-may-ic.   Superman:  You talking about a toilet?

On humor:
Jon and I were taking a CPR class and I was up first to be the unresponsive victim.  His job:  roll me over and check for vitals.  My job:  mutter comments under my breath the entire time trying to get him to laugh really loud.
Me:  You didn't tilt my head back far enough.
Jon:  That's because you're a child. 

Mimi came with us to said CPR class so she can continue to babysit our brood once we have a foster placement.  At the end of the highly entertaining (please read into my sarcasm) blood born pathogen movie, the narrator says something like, "remember to always use the materials on hand for your safety" and then two guys walk out in neon hazmat suits.  At which point Mimi snorts so loud and the whole class dies laughing.  You probably had to be there, but that one is still cracking me up. 

 

Happy Father's Day

The boys and I bought three matching shirts for the guys of our family to wear on father's day.  I thought this might be a fun gift idea because they pretty much want to be dressed like Ababa everyday. 

With some major imagination, I might add. 
Superman:  "Look Ababa!  We're matching!  My shirt is just like yours!"  (Superman, wearing a light gray shirt with a red and black spider.  Jon, wearing a dark brown shirt with an outline of a lion and a banana republic logo across the top.)
Bear jumps in on this action too with cries of, "I wanna do it like you does it!" 

So while this gift idea was just as much for the boys as it was for Jon, it seemed okay.  After all, without them there would be no reason to celebrate Jon on this particular Sunday.  

It also highlights nicely how amazing their father is, for they strive to be just like him, down to shoe choice.  But Ack!  I forgot to take a picture of them in their matching shirts!  I'm sure there will be other chances as I'm guessing that the boys will demand this as the new Saturday uniform.  

Happy Father's Day, Jon!  It's been one heck of a ride watching you become the dad you are today! 

   

 

In our corner

You people are gems.  I can only hope everyone has people in their lives as generous as you have been in our pain and vulnerability.  Within moments of hitting publish we had friends reaching out with fb messages, texts, emails, phone calls and letters.  Offers of babysitting to bottles of wine and lunch invitations assure me.  You know me well and love me well.  Thanks for reaching out, thanks for praying. 

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Wanna know who else is a gem? 

Grandma, of course.  The boys got these fun packages in the mail the other day for absolutely no other reason than they too, are loved well. 

 

 

Thanks, Grandma!  Our bubble blowers have not left our grasp for the last 48 hours!

 

Catching up on Pictures!

Parade time!

 

Lunch with buds.

 

Carlsbad shirts!

 

Cat in the hat tats. 

 

This is Rachel.  She has been an on and off again fixture in our house for a few months.

 

Super Grover

 

Dressing up with doll clothes.

 

Watching Honey I Shrunk the Kids on TV this past weekend. 

 

More smiles at swim lessons!

 

And this is where it got scary... going into the deep side.

 

Trolley time!

 

Not much beats running into friends on the trolley!

 

Bear's first ever hair style.

 

Finger curls!

 

Classic Bear dance moves.

 

Swim Lessons

 

I am so proud.  We have not only survived two days of swim lessons, but we have thrived.  Seeing how far Superman has come, not only in facing his fear of water, but in all areas of life made me get misty-eyed a few times on day one. 

 

Here is but a small sampling of things you don't take for granted when you have a kid with a complex background.

*My child with a sensory processing disorder just stuck his whole face in the water to blow bubbles! 

*When the swim teacher asked the group what they learned, my child voluntarily answered!  

*Superman was right in the middle of the pack.  He was not the most timid or fearful child there, nor was he the most loud and hyper.  I am happy to report he was 100% appropriate.  And even better, had tons of fun.

*Thanks be to God.  I really can't even describe the pride and the bursting of my heart feeling.  We had OT today and it was such a victory telling his therapist about the experience and all of the ways OT has helped him.  Answered prayer, my friends.    

 

 

"I wanna swim.  I wanna swim like Seshie does it."

"Can I get in da shima poo pwease?"

When the "big" kids were done I let Bear get in the water, for it is hard to be 2 and be too young for swim lessons.  He was not wearing his floaties like we had for the entire previous week in San Antonio and was on his belly at the bottom of a two-foot pool in 1.5 seconds.   Note my drowning child in the picture below.   

 

$$$

Superman and Bear received darling piggy banks for Christmas this past year.  It's a good thing too, because we have yet to start any kind of money conversation with our kids and the piggy banks have kicked started that nicely.  In a debit card life, I doubt our kids would have set eyes on a nickel if not for a piggy on the dresser. 

Fact:  Mimi brings them coins semi-regularly and I have never once orchestrated an event where they can buy something. 

Fact:  Momo saves a whole baggie or coffee tin full of quarters for the boys and I drive to the bank, use the commercial line in the drive-through, and deposit the 4.5 pounds into two savings accounts.  Again, (and I may be repeating myself here) I have never once orchestrated an event where they can buy something. 

In a former life I was a first-grade teacher and I just couldn't believe that kids would not know names of coins or amounts.  Didn't their parents even talk to them??

Lord, you are teaching me grace. 
As it turns out, I have never known it all.

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Superman:  Why do you have to go to work?

Jon:  I actually can't remember what he said, but it was something to the effect of liking his job, earning money and providing for his family, and getting away from the insanity.  (Well maybe not the last one, but you already knew that.)

Superman:  You have to teach me how to make money before I'm a daddy.
(pause) 
You have to make little circles and put them in the freezer and then put them in the microwave and then let it set out and cool it down? And that's how you make money?        

 

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

We tagged along with Jon this past week to a conference in San Antonio.  Mission:  To ensure Jon didn't become a dull boy.  I'd say it was a success.



Packed and ready!  Just the essentials, mom.  Just the essentials. 

 

The Hyatt!

We stayed at a fun hotel that was right on the Riverwalk.  Jon's conference was in the same hotel, so most days we got to spend breakfast and lunch with him, not to mention him coming "home" from work earlier than usual.  Come Monday that will be a schedule we will all miss. 

 

The view!  Bear could be heard several times a day, "A twolley!  A twolley!  Come yook, come on, come!"

 

We all slept so good!  Jon and I actually got caught up on sleep, a side-effect from having lights out at 8:00ish every night.  And what vacation photo-montage would be complete with out pictures of our sleeping kids?

Note Bear and his baby's matching jammies.  Cute, cute.

 Warning to all potential friends/family who want to vacation with us:  we only budget to eat out once a day.  ;)

 

Swimming!  

Our hotel had a pool!  This was the first time we've ever seen Superman confident and having fun in the water.  This is not to say that he can swim, but he definitely spent more time in the water than out of it and finally learned to trust his floaties.  It was fun to see him have so much fun. 

 

Bear has always loved the water and was in his element, aside from having 0% body fat.  He pretty much starts shivering immediately upon touching any water.

 

So good to see that smile!

Bear's first trick. 

 

 

And his second. "Yook at me mama!  Yook at me!"

 

The Children's Museum!

On day two we went to the Children's Museum.  Highlights included playing in a trolley and trying out several different occupations, plus there was a play store that was way bigger than the one in our Science Spectrum at home.

 

0llie on Molly the Trolley.

 

Superman running the till in his old-timey store

 

Bear the banker.

 

 Withdraw, please. 

 

My boys, the air traffic controllers.

 

My boys, the pilots. 

 

My boys, the grocers.

 

This part of the play store really gave me insight into the brain of my two-year old and what he thinks of me.  Bear must have spent 10 minutes taking out a cart, pushing it a few steps, telling me that it wasn't a good one, getting out a new one, and putting the original back.  Twice he loaded up groceries in his cart and then went back, placing everything on the floor one-by-one, got himself a new cart and meticulously placed everything back into the new cart.  I told you that this child cracks me up daily.

 

The San Antonio Zoo!

The next day we headed to the zoo.  Not nearly as much fun without Ababa, but we still managed to have a good time. 

 



ROAR!

 

Hanging on some Hippos with our new friend Mae.

Note Superman's "zoo clothes".  Shorts stripped like a zebra, alligator shirt.

 

Botanical Gardens and Shakespeare in the park!

 

We lasted all of 20 minutes during A Midsummer Night's Dream. 

A caterpillar!

Cheese!

Checking out the water.

 

The Japanese Tea Gardens!

There are no pictures of our morning adventures on this particular day, but I'll give you a quick run down.  It started with some crocodile tears, included a spanking in a city-park, progressed to  stopping up a toilet at a senior citizen center (don't ask), and fire ant bites.  (Bonus points for readers if you guess correctly which boy participated in which activity.)  I realized the morning was probably shot, so in an attempt to salvage the day I asked, "who wants to go get ice cream?"  Both boys immediately started sobbing.  More bonus points if you can guess who said, "I don't like ice cream!  It's too cold!" and who said, "I want it now!!  NOW!!!"

 

Then we got into the van, where one kiddo immediately conked out, and the other enjoyed a veggie tale, compliments of one Honda Odyssey.  Just the restart we needed.  On to the Tea Gardens!  

 

So beautiful!

Handsome boys and beautiful scenery, our day is starting to take shape!

Another caterpillar!

 

The Rainforest Café!

The last night we went to the Rainforst Café.  This was something we looked forward to all week and was a highlight for a few reasons.  Superman was so excited to go inside and see all the animals and was beside himself with excitement.  Bear, pretty much the opposite, was afraid of all of the loud noises and his reaction was comical.  The animals came to life every 10 minutes or so and they had a thunderstorm every 20 or 30 minutes.  I think the anticipation of loud sounds coming was worse than actually hearing the sounds.  He kept saying, "almos, almos coming!" 

 

This was pretty much the look on his face through out the entire meal.

And Bear alternated between my arms and his daddy's saying, "I'm scawey, I'm scawey" for most of the meal.  He's such a sweetheart.



 Love those big eyes.

 

 

SARA!

The last day we visited one of Jon's sites that they grow trees for, the San Antonio River Authority. 

 

We couldn't actually find any of his trees.... the grass was pretty tall, but I'm sure they were there thriving under all those wildflowers!

 

This kid has got the right idea.  The perfect way to end a vacation.