On theology:
Superman: My Thomas water bottle is just like God. He can see everywhere.
Superman: This dragon is so tall. He is juuuuust up to God's chin.
Superman in prayer: And God, why are you so big? How did you just get to be so big?
On embarrassing mothers:
Bear to random man at Sam's: Hello, Mista Monsta! (Complete with big smile and wave.)
On learning new words (garage sale and automatic) and having no idea what they mean:
Bear chasing me: I gawage say-oh you! No! Youwa gawage say-oh!
Bear: I'm done now. It's auto-may-ic.
Bear fixing the waistband of his shorts: I pix it. It's auto-may-ic.
Bear: I pil my mek. It's auto-may-ic. Superman: You talking about a toilet?
On humor:
Jon and I were taking a CPR class and I was up first to be the unresponsive victim. His job: roll me over and check for vitals. My job: mutter comments under my breath the entire time trying to get him to laugh really loud.
Me: You didn't tilt my head back far enough.
Jon: That's because you're a child.
Mimi came with us to said CPR class so she can continue to babysit our brood once we have a foster placement. At the end of the highly entertaining (please read into my sarcasm) blood born pathogen movie, the narrator says something like, "remember to always use the materials on hand for your safety" and then two guys walk out in neon hazmat suits. At which point Mimi snorts so loud and the whole class dies laughing. You probably had to be there, but that one is still cracking me up.
Superman: My Thomas water bottle is just like God. He can see everywhere.
Superman: This dragon is so tall. He is juuuuust up to God's chin.
Superman in prayer: And God, why are you so big? How did you just get to be so big?
On embarrassing mothers:
Bear to random man at Sam's: Hello, Mista Monsta! (Complete with big smile and wave.)
On learning new words (garage sale and automatic) and having no idea what they mean:
Bear chasing me: I gawage say-oh you! No! Youwa gawage say-oh!
Bear: I'm done now. It's auto-may-ic.
Bear fixing the waistband of his shorts: I pix it. It's auto-may-ic.
Bear: I pil my mek. It's auto-may-ic. Superman: You talking about a toilet?
On humor:
Jon and I were taking a CPR class and I was up first to be the unresponsive victim. His job: roll me over and check for vitals. My job: mutter comments under my breath the entire time trying to get him to laugh really loud.
Me: You didn't tilt my head back far enough.
Jon: That's because you're a child.
Mimi came with us to said CPR class so she can continue to babysit our brood once we have a foster placement. At the end of the highly entertaining (please read into my sarcasm) blood born pathogen movie, the narrator says something like, "remember to always use the materials on hand for your safety" and then two guys walk out in neon hazmat suits. At which point Mimi snorts so loud and the whole class dies laughing. You probably had to be there, but that one is still cracking me up.
Butt compressions getting any more popular these days? :)
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