On my mind

I've been thinking lots about Jack and Nevaeh and figured it was time for a good long post about all the things muddling around in my head.  Today I was asking Jon if he remembered how great Jack smelled, a combo of Johnsons pink baby lotion + argan oil in his hair + papmer's senstive wipes.  Sadly, Jon did not.  Or (sadder yet?) Jon quite possibly never noticed how great Jack smelled.  It may very well just be a mom thing.   

It's hard to know where to begin or how to sum up my thoughts on foster care.  Remember good 'ol Jen Hatmaker and how she was in ET at the same time we were?  So every time a big milestone came around (one year home, two years home, etc.), there she was: all eloquent, and making sense, and being super transparent, and clearly conveying how much she loved her kids, and pointing everyone back to the maker of heaven and earth, and I can't help but think that I may have gotten spoiled.

This time around when I read blogs or posts from other foster parents, I just can't get behind the entire post.  Some things are summed up nicely, but other thoughts are missing or completely off base for how I feel.  So ack.  I guess I'm going to have to write about this myself, not just passing on the linky love. 

I'm also hesitant to put my feelings out there because I realize that we have had a very small nibble of foster care and I in no way know if our kids/situation/experience was average.  But I will tell you that we did fall head over heels in love.  And not just with our amazing kids, but with foster care.

I was working on a bible study and was reading the end of Matthew 25.  Jesus is explaining how when the Son of Man comes back he will judge the all nations that will be gathered before him.  He says he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, to his left and right.

Jesus goes on to say, "Come, you who are blessed by my Father;... for I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." 

The people he is speaking to answered him in surprise and basically say, 'Lord when?  We never saw you!' 

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

Jesus then goes on to explain that the "goats" say the exact same thing.  'When did we see you?? We would have surely done something to help if we had seen you!!'  Jesus answers "I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me." 

Boy oh boy, did that make me cry.   

Because life is busy, and challenging, and at times hard.  You worry about things, and can feel down. Foster care can be all of those things compounded: busy, challenging, hard, stressful, and constricting.  But weren't you all ready worn out and tired by your "normal" life, so why not be worn out and tired by feeding the hungry and giving drinks to the thirsty?  By being hospitable to a stranger and looking after the sick or visiting those in prison?  Why not be worn out by taking care of Jesus rather than yourself?

And then here's the great secret; in spite of all the challenges before you, every Mot was better because of it.  Jon and I working as a team, in tune to one another at a new level in the chaos.  Seeing Seth in a new light as so many of his strengths came to the forefront and he shone being a big brother to littles.  Ollie, flexible as ever, adapting quickly, and now at a loss for his friend and playmate is gone. 

I thought it would be harder on our kids when our Jack and Nevaeh left as well.  I expected Seth and Ollie to struggle with ideas of "Okay, so they just left, will I ever have to leave?/When will I leave?"  I am so very happy to say that did not happen.  Probably because we talked about these things forever and ever, but I really see this as such a tangible truth that our kids feel secure, which feels wonderful. 

Surprisingly, I thought we would need a while between placements, a few months maybe?  Rather, Jon and I feel like we are chomping at the bit to begin again.  We did decide to hold off until summer because working part time for me was just too much in the end.  We decided that I would stay home next year and we would continue to foster.  We also have gone back and forth about whether we should sell our home and look for more square footage, more bedrooms, and a bigger area for a much larger dinning table.  In the end it seemed like a good idea, so although it may put us back even longer than we would like before getting another foster placement, it is what we have decided to do.   

As ever, I'll keep you posted! 
 

Catching up, birthdays, and goodbyes

Ollie getting photo bombed by a giant pigtail.

Jacky, you are just way too cute. 

Nevaeh's prevalent attitude about posing with Seth.  Ain't gonna happen, lady.

Blocks in pjs, the best time of the day.

Sitting practice!

Grandma and Grandpa!  Mutual smitten-ness.

This is Bear, our resident tough guy. 

Ababa made a super cool ladder up the tree.  Good news for us and the ER, both boys are kinda afraid of using it. 

O kissing our birthday girl.  :)

Pushing Ababa his present.

We'll help!

Jon tied a balloon to Nevaeh's pants.  Hilarity ensued. 

Checking out the new kitchen!

Present time!

My cake!

Blowing the candles...

...with a little help!

Ababa in a G&G sandwich.

Sweetest girl you'll ever meet.

Buddies.

Flying high with Kermie.

Be still my heart.

 

Last morning of fun for these three.

And finally, a waffle on an early morning ride to the airport. 

Goodbye, loves! 

And then my house was quiet

We got up in the wee early hours on Tuesday morning to feed Jacky and Nevaeh for one last time before buckling them up in the van and taking them to the airport.  They were bleary-eyed and slightly bewildered that we had woken them up, but in keeping with their character, they were troupers and took everything in stride.

Seth and Ollie then spent the morning at Mimi and Momo's and Jon was off at work.  I don't think I've been alone and awake for more than 2 hours in a long time.  It felt odd, but was also nice.  So what did I do with myself?  I cleaned of course.  It was the reckless sort of cleaning, too.  The kind where I didn't even bother putting the outlet covers back on after vacuuming.  :)

And then after I picked up Seth and Ollie after lunch, and a minor miracle happened and both boys voluntarily napped.  Well, I'm not sure what Seth did.  Later he told me he rested and practiced whistling.  All I know is that he was in his room for almost 2 hours with a closed door, so the details seem moot.  I laid on my bed and read a book.  It felt really odd, but was also really nice. 

We miss our buddies, pray for them and think of them lots.  Things also feel really peaceful.  We loved those sweet kids, and would have been happy to love them as ours forever, but that just didn't happen.  And we don't feel mad or bitter, just a sadness with a great peace about the whole situation.  People have asked if we were angry at CPS for taking them, or making this decision.  Honestly, no, we have not.  Mostly I've had to pray for forgiveness at being mad at other Christians; why would everyone not choose to help those who can't help themselves?   

We had a wonderful last weekend with Jack and Nevaeh.  Grandma and Grandpa drove down from Missouri and stayed for a 3 or 4 days.  They were supposed to come earlier in the year, but plans changed, and I'm so glad they did because they were a wonderful blessing in what could have been a pretty hard or sad weekend.  We had nice weather and played outside lots, celebrated Nevaeh and her birth, and generally just loved and enjoyed each other. 

Pictures coming soon!

 

Hello!

Another crazy week is in the bag. 

On Wednesday I was writing down Nevaeh-isms to share, because they are darling and I just realized that she has picked up on so much of our lingo.  "Aw, bummo, Debt!"  (Aw, bummer, Seth!)  I believe I may still have had pen in hand when I got a phone call that kinda put the brakes on treasuring up all this said cuteness.  We found out this week that our two new little friends will be moving from our home sometime in the days to come.  Although we knew full well what we were getting ourselves into with this foster business, and even knew full well that there was a relative out there completing a home study, it still stung.  And so we cried.  And then we felt depressed.  And then we kinda of accepted things and put one foot in front of the other and kept going through the week.  

We also spent the bulk of our evenings this week pricing things and doing other garage sale-y tasks.  A family from our church recently moved to France to attend a language school, with the plans of sharing Christ in Morocco soon.  They didn't have a chance to sell the last of their items due to a death in the family, so we loaded it all in our garage and waited for a spring weekend to try and raise some money for them.  Anywho, fast forward to now and we once again have room to walk in the garage.  (!!!)  It was not quite as epic as the RG garage sale of 2011, but I'm happy that we do have close to $1,000 to send to them. 

In a nutshell, that brings us to now.  Grandma and grandpa are coming this week and we also will(hopefully!) get to celebrate Nevaeh's birthday! 

Catching Up

Lots of cheesy smiles for the camera!

Lots more tv watching.  Also, lots of half-made beds. 

 

 

 A month or two ago, Seth started earning allowance by doing chores.  Ollie has been pretty interested in seeing Seth drop in his two dimes every Sunday in the basket, but his interest piqued when Seth brought home books he bought himself from the book fair with his hard earned money.  Ollie asked if he could start doing chores and get an allowance and we agreed, although he may be a little young.  We will see if his interest continues.

 

And they are good help, if you don't mind the fact that all dish towels get folded on a floor that may or may not be clean.  ;)

 

Jack has had his first few bites of food in the last few days! 

Overall, he is not a fan.  :)

But, we try hard to make him laugh, so then we can just shove in a bite.  

Fort building!

 

 



Fifty-Five and Point Five

A very happy birthday to Momo!  We all got in on the action of making the cake, complete with Nevaeh grabbing a fist full from the middle.  I remembered to take some pictures (a rarity these days) of the cake making, but forgot while the actual birthday boy was here! 

Finished product, you know you want a bite!  Happy Birthday, Momo!  We were happy to celebrate and spend time with you!

And a very happy six months to our youngest!  

 

 

 

Jack, your current milestones include:

• sitting independently for the first time today!! 
• two teeth, and more a'coming
• rolling from your tummy to your back in either direction
• rolling from your back to your side in either direction.  You haven't quite mastered getting to your tummy yet.
• bouncing up a storm in your bouncer
• you give sweet, sweet smiles and love it when anyone sings

 

 

And here's some prayer requests for you since I'm thinking it will be a few days before I blog again:

• Jack got his first cold while at our house.  His breathing sounds so miserable and he has a cough. 
• We've got well checks tomorrow for Jack and Nevaeh, which I'm sure will mean shots. 
• The honeymoon is over for Seth and Ollie.  Neither one's behavior has totally gone off the deep end, but you can tell they are getting tired of all this new.  I took Ollie out for breakfast on Saturday morning for a little one-on-one time and asked him what he thought about our new friends.  Basically he told me that it was just feeling like too much, but that he still really liked Jack and Nevaeh. 
• We are all still pretty tired, emotionally and physically.  We have put our three big kids to bed at 6:30 since we started foster care and everyone is still sleeping late and is drained by the afternoon.  Okay, that being said, I'm off to bed myself!! 

 

 

 



 

Pros and Cons of a Family of Six

People, we are making it.  We are officially at the two week point, and we are all alive and well.  We are wiped out and the days seem super busy, but we are alive and well. 

For the most part, our days have been fun and full of love.

Except last Tuesday.  Last Tuesday was our first really bad day when everyone seemed to miss the window for a nap and we were all just way too tired.  Oh, and today.  I about killed Seth earlier when he told me, "someone needs a nap" after explaining (none too patiently) about the appropriate use of Elmer's.  I was like a cartoon character with smoke coming out of my ears, and could hardly believe he just said that.  When I texted Jon ten minutes later, it did make me smile, so I suppose we can view that as evidence that I'm learning to let things roll off my back.  Jon texted back an image of Homer strangling Bart, and it got a full chuckle. 

But there have been so many pros, too!  It seems like Seth and Ollie have never played better together or enjoyed each other more.  Ollie and Nevaeh have become quite the inseparable duo, and I can't even get over how sweet they are to one another.  And baby Jack.  Who would have known that bringing a baby into our house would send everybody right to peak of cute sweetness?  Nevaeh came loving that little guy and still squeals and runs right up to greet him all the time.  Ollie quickly became enamored as well, clamoring to hold him or help with his bottle, but I don't think anyone is as smitten with Jack as Seth.  Seth loves to sneak in quick kisses and can be heard singing or trying to get Jack to smile while I'm cooking dinner or out of the room. 

Another Pro?  More to laugh about. 

Jon:  "Good job, Jacky boy!"
Ollie:  "Is he a boy?"
Jon: "Yeah"
Ollie: "I fot so."

Pros:  More hugs and love to go around. 

Cons:  There are not enough massages and chiropractic appointments in the world to help us now. 

 

Pros:  We are utilizing all seats in the van.

Cons:  We are full!

Pros: It's hard to get out around nap schedules, so we are having lots of family bonding time at home.

Cons:  Can I say the same thing? 

Pros:  She is cute, sweet, a big helper, and obedient.  She's also the absolute best to come home to, as she drops whatever she is doing, screams, and runs to greet you at the door with hugs a'plenty. 

Cons: She's been a terrible napper the last few days and has been so grumpy in the afternoons.  My best guess is that she hears the boys play and doesn't want to miss out. 

 

Can I also tell you about our first girl experiences?  Maybe it's just her, but she is so into fine motor, self help skills.  She can put on her socks and cover herself up with a blanket.  (People, Ollie can't even do that yet.)  She loves lotion, brushing her teeth, blowing her nose, and wiping her face with a wash cloth.  Can you guess what boys I know that hate all of those things?  She would also be totally potty trained within a week if we didn't have so much going on.  I think another thing that has made the transition of sharing all our toys easier for the boys is that for the most part she is into very different toys.  She carries her fake lipstick around and applies it to all the dinosaurs laying in her path.    

 

Pros:  We've got great help and daddy's in training!  Despite me almost strangling Seth earlier today, I can't believe how well he's done with this big change.  One of Seth's biggest strengths is that he loves helping people and now he finally has people who are eager to receive his help. No cons for this one!

 

No cons for this one either!  He's a charmer!  Our days of gummy smiles were short lived though, as Jack cut his first two teeth within the first week of living here.  This is the happiest, most non-fussy baby ever.  He has continued sleeping through the night, although likes his first bottle early, around 5:00 or 5:30 and then goes back to sleep for an hour or two.  

Pros:  Our kids are worn out and are sleeping hard. 
Cons:  I think we are all pretty tired. 

These two. 

Their friendship has really blossomed.  They had a little bit of a slow start because Ollie was all set to be friendly and lovely on day one, and Nevaeh didn't want anything to do with anyone whose name wasn't mommy.  Since then, she has warmed up considerably, and they play together all day.  She was sad the other day at naptime and Ollie said, "Don't worry!  I'll take a nap too!"  She literally clapped her hands and yelled "Yay!!" and then they both took a nap together. 

Cons:  They are the only ones who have been possessive of me.  If they are both tired at the same time, one can really get grumpy because I'm spending time with the other or holding the other. 

 

 

 

I'd say the pros out weight the cons. 

 

 

 

Everybody Needs a Baby!